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#Xfactor ?? “Let’s have it!!” writes George Kay in Column

12 Sep #Xfactor ?? “Let’s have it!!” writes George Kay in Column

By George Kay & Kerry Katona

It’s that time of the week again, where our eyes & ears are subjected to an hour’s molestation courtesy of the national treasure that is the Xfactor. Possibly the only time of the week where decent folks’ moral’s fly out the window & as a nation we group together to troll & ridicule the dreams of every hopeful contestant on every social media platform the super information highway provides us with..

So with no remorse & without further a do – here’s my take on this weeks dream chasers!

@TheXFactor Faye Horne I have to turn round when my kids sing!! Act your age😂
Due to an unplanned lavatory visit, I missed the first 30 secs of waffle that the opening act provides. I was greeted by a grown woman making the messiah himself (Simon Cowell) turn away while she let fly with her best vocals.. My 2yr old daughter makes me do the same! Faye “Act your age or leave the stage. Didn’t watch to see if you made it through & quite frankly I don’t care.

Richie Stevens pack it up pack it in!! Exactly what I was thinking.. It’s a NO!!

Ritchie that was just ridiculous my friend. How did you get through security😂. I love the bonkers but that was just stale lunacy!! Pack it in!!

@TheXFactor Linda please??

Words fail me. For the love of God, learn your lines & atleast show your talents to anyone who will listen before you apply for the next show. In-fact just don’t apply!!

@TheXFactor Josh & Kyle been here before, unfinished business you can sing.. Your through guys

My ears & eyes pricked up when you entered the screen, two clean cut young lads! Granted you’ve been here before, but this time round you seem more refined. Surprised Satan didn’t ask you to split up the twosome! Just for his own entertainment. Great vocals dodgy haircuts you’ll do for me👍🏽

XFactor where is the madness? I’m brace & ready🙌🏽✌🏾️

You will get used to my favourite war cry! I’m a sucker for nonsense it makes me weak at the knees! Most people like romance, I like a juggling dwarf belting out a Micheal Jackson number in a pink wig!

@TheXFactor Antonia for the love of God? You’ve put me off pop & opera!! Love the craziness though👌🏽bring on ABBA week😂

Right on queue enters this complete case. Offering her services to fill the huge void of where opera meets pop! I couldn’t stop laughing in time to see if you made it through as I creased up again when the prince of darkness was concerned if you’d be capable of performing during ABBA week?? “Take my ears & eyes.. but please spare my ABBA week”😂😂🙌🏽

@TheXFactor Simon has just admitted he robs our jobs 😂.. “Don’t stop me now” love it👍🏽 were not ready for you yet😂

Not sure what this was all about.. But Simon suddenly became very proud of his polish heritage, I would as he seems to have taken the greatest job the world has to offer!
Sadly you had Simon’s trident rammed up your rear end & some cheeky dismissal in the form of “we’re not ready for you yet”. That’s a no then!

@TheXFactor ivy grace.. Not sure about the see through top.. Apparently you sang our faces off!?! You’re through 👉🏽

You sang our faces off (apparently). Yes you can sing, but nobody wants to see their mums boobs while she sings, that is unless your mum happens to be Pamela Anderson in her hay day.. Then maybe.. Just maybe it’s acceptable 🙈 enjoy the next round.

#Xfactor Jamuna you tart with a heart., I can see why you keep dancing on your own., your through 👉🏽

This audition was just too awkward for me.. The self confessed tart with a heart is through. Eww

@TheXFactor Aeron yess!! You can sing, love the ankle tattoos.. Sound like Bryan Adams.. We’ll be up till the we hrs for you 👉🏽

Aeron.. You captured my ears.. Loved the ankle tattoos & I thought you sounded like a husky Bryan Adams. Nicole turned Scottish? But in general we’ll be up till the we small hrs listening to you??

 

@TheXFactor  Olivia 16., own your next song.. You’ve got the look. Nicole secretly loves you 👍🏽👍🏽👉🏽
Olivia 16yrs.. Great a northern bird! Had the look & for me the vocals too. Brave song choice for such a baby. Nicole panicked incase you blossom into a a huge soul diva & steal her seat on the panel. You can tell she loves you really. I’m routing for you as I’m sure the rest of the north west is too. A credit to your parents, best of luck👌🏽

@TheXFactor annalisa.. Sharon politely remembers you.. “You make me feel, you make me feel” You made me feel good❤️.. 👉🏽

The final act of the show, yes you’ve been here before, you seem older & wiser.. Enjoyed your audition, you can sing, pleasant way to end the show❤️

For me the Xfactor didn’t show us a winner.. It was more like a who’s who of who (how many who’s 😂)  is making up the numbers this year. Pleasant at best, but didn’t justify paying for a TV licence. We live in hope for next week!

I’ve been George Kay aka the voice of ..@essextv.. I’ve a week of trawling complete & utter media misery so remember never believe what you read & don’t take life too seriously 👍🏽