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@TheBlokeShowUK’s Stel writes: “Keep Calm & Catch Honey G”

10 Oct @TheBlokeShowUK’s Stel writes: “Keep Calm & Catch Honey G”

Welcome to TBSUKB, otherwise known as The Bloke Show UK Blog. Thought I’d abbreviate it as the title is a bit of a mouthful

On this day (7th October at time of writing) way back in 1780, the “Great Hurricane” killed over 20,000 people in the West Indies. Now THAT is a news story, right? Imagine if social media existed back then! OK, the Anti Catholic demo in London would have escalated to the point where it would have made the London riots look like a McDonald’s kids party – but you get my point (I hope).

Nowadays it seems that real news is Kim Kardashian being tied up against her will (allegedly) or what’s happened on a staged “reality TV” show, **cough** I mean, singing contest. Then again, I guess I can’t really complain else there wouldn’t be much else to rant about.

Social Media is incredibly powerful, although a lot of the time it resembles Chinese Whispers but with photoshopped images, false quotes, memes and other material that wouldn’t even be used in a Chinese sweatshop! Take Kony 2012 as an example of utter fuckery (you’ll see this word used a lot in my blogs). An American charity called Invisible Children created a documentary about warlord Joseph Kony, leader of the Lords Resistance Army (LRA) and how he compromised children in Uganda. Ok, cool. Things like this should be brought to our attention. Most of us are completely oblivious as to what goes on in Africa. Anyway, this documentary received over £21 MILLLION hits on YouTube. MAD!

Michael Wilkerson, a journalist who has worked in Uganda for years pointed out that not only had Kony not been in Uganda for six years, the LRC operated in the Democratic Republic of Congo, South Sudan and the Central African Republic. In October 2011, Obama send 100 US Army advisers to help the Ugandan military to find Kony. Did they have any luck? “Nope” is the answer!

While the documentary created a lot of awareness, many were highly critical saying the charity is focused on appealing to people’s emotions and the documentary itself wasn’t a fair representation of Uganda. Interestingly enough, Kony had been in Uganda for around 25 years and could have been arrested on numerous occasions by the Americans if they wanted to. Those of you who have time and a Facebook account, check out the PhonyKony page.

Yesterday a friend was telling me about a person on Facebook who is  asking for likes on her status because once she reaches a certain amount, a cremation company would make a ring for her mother out of her father’s ashes. Can someone explain to me what the Hell this fuckery is about? Pleading for likes for a ring? Blatantly this is a PR stunt by the cremation company, but it wouldn’t surprise me if this was a totally legitimate plea. She couldn’t even be bothered to set up a Gofundme or Just Giving page. Shame on those of you who have entertained such idiocy!

Speaking of Facebook, what is it about people checking in to places, especially when they’re on holiday? “Jane checked in at THE BEACH”, followed by an uploaded image taken from her sunbed of the view, with her legs and feet included. I have to be honest with you Jane, no one wants to see your legs or your feet for that matter. We know you’re on holiday because your statuses for the last 4 months have been days-hours-and-minutes-until-you’re-going-away countdowns, plus you “checked in” in the cab, at the airport and on the plan as it was about to take off. I BELIEVE YOU’RE ON HOLIDAY FFS!


How about that Food Porn garbage? Might as well call it Heart Attack Grub. Seriously, what kind of fuckery is this? “Take 20 Oreos and remove the filling. Break Oreos in to tiny pieces. Fill a bowl with a jar of Nutella and Peanut Butter. Add Whipped Cream. Mix. Put in fridge for 3 hours. Add Oreos to mixture. Add Smarties and M&M’s to mixture. Put mixture in cake tray and then in oven for 30mins. Enjoy”….The video that follows is of an obese kid being beaten up by bullies at school. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight…….

On a final note, I can’t not mention X-Factor. George Kay has done a fantastic job so far with his account of the show for Essex TV and I don’t want to step on any toes, but I have to add my 2 cents (or nonsense – call it what you want). First of all, if Honey G ISN’T a plant, which is what I think she is (an actress thrown in to add to the “entertainment value”), then Social Services need to get involved because Mr Cowell is taking advantage of a vulnerable adult. I’m sorry, but no one that age who is fully compos mentis should behave that way. It’s ridiculous. “Honey G” – the first clue that this is a wind up comes from the “G”. Remember Ali G? Someone at FreemantleMedia is either lazy or tried too hard to make a spoof of a spoof. According to “Bratavio”, the first contestants knocked out of the competition last night (rightly so), Honey G doesn’t like having photos taken without her sunglasses and cap on. Hmmmm, doesn’t “like”, or “isn’t allowed to”?

Give it a few weeks and we’ll find out how much of a joke this show is. It had some credibility at the beginning, but we always knew sponsors would want a change in format  – and what the sponsors (and Simon Cowell) want –they get.